Women Hating on Women
A woman we will call Doris came into my office one day with a very common complaint, “I just got promoted at my job. I am the first female manager at my company and the other women at the office are saying I only got the job because I am sleeping with the owner. I am not, by the way. How do I explain that to them and gain respect?”
I responded by telling her “you don’t have to explain anything to them. You are the boss, and if you aren’t treated with respect you will have to handle that the way any male boss would.”
This one bothers me on so many levels, but mostly because I see it a lot. I even watched it happen to one of my previous bosses, who was a brilliant marketing director. She was the owner’s daughter and, behind her back, many of my coworkers complained that it was the only reason she got the job. Those of us who worked closely with her knew being the owner’s daughter was the only reason she TOOK the job. She could have worked anywhere; but, instead she chose to help her dad turn his stumbling company around, so we could all still have jobs.
Women, I hate to call you out on this, but we must stop this behavior. We must celebrate other women getting promoted, rather than looking at the hemline of their skirts and shaking our heads. We need to celebrate anyone who gets past that glass ceiling, rather than trying to pull them down with mean comments about their bodies, their boyfriends, or speculating about how they got there. Frankly, if a female boss does a good job, I wouldn’t care if they were dating the owner. I would consider that none of my business, and you should too.
Women are more likely to hire more women into positions of power, and that is what we need right now. Women are not as likely to participate in the kind of discussions that perpetuate the sexual harassment behavior we have been seeing splattered all over the news right now. I have yet to meet anyone who got a d**k pic from a female boss, though I guess it is still early in the day.
We have all known people, men and women who were grossly incompetent, who get promoted to positions they had no business having; but, for some reason it’s the women who really get nailed for this one. If women want to get ahead in this world, this is the behavior that most needs to change.
Its ok to feel a bit jealous; that’s human nature, but don’t let the jealously keep you from treating your new female boss with the respect she deserves. Know that she just proved that with hard work, it can be possible for you too.
Love yourself enough to treat everyone with respect. It truly makes the world a better place. Namaste.
Jill Thomas CHT
Soul Connect Hypnotherapy
Encinitas, CA 92024