The other day, my husband asked me if most woman were angry about Harvey Weinstein’s issues. My husband works with mostly men, so I am the voice of all woman for him. I told him “angry, yes. Surprised? Not even a little.” He was also surprised to hear that earlier in my life, I had twice been fired from jobs for not being agreeable to a man’s unwanted attentions. I hadn’t mentioned it, because it is so common I hadn’t thought much about it since it happened.
This made me realize that most men probably don’t know how common this behavior really is. So, on that note this one’s for you men:
-Almost every woman you know who has had a job has at one point been sexually harassed.
-A large number of those same woman have either quit or been fired because of it.
-In almost EVERY company there is at least one man the women in the office warn each other about. Frequently, the guy still works there because he is a manager of some kind or a top salesperson and seemingly untouchable.
-Almost every woman you know has known a woman who did complain about someone’s actions at work, and it didn’t go well for them. They become an office cautionary tale that keeps other woman from complaining.
-Those same women get to sit by and watch the D-bags get promoted over them repeatedly. Women with more experience are frequently overlooked for promotions and salary increases.
I feel sorry for the 16-year-old girl working at her first job in food service right now, being asked out on dates by her boss and thinking that this is what she is to expect from having a job.
Are we mad? Yes, we are; but, sadly woman have largely become used to this behavior and are not raising the alarm enough when it does happen.
So, what do we do?
Well, we all (men too) need to stop excusing that behavior by saying “boys will be boys” or “that’s just the way he is.” All of us need to say something when this happens. Not just the woman.
Women, we need to teach our daughters how to say, “no thanks, not interested” in a much clearer and more definitive way. I hear all the time from men that they “weren’t clear she didn’t like it.”
To everyone’s credit, I think it is getting better for woman out there. Generally, this behavior isn’t tolerated the way it was; but it’s clear we still have a long way to go.
Bottom line; we all need to work on being kind, loving, and respectful to each other and to say something when someone is not. That’s how we make the world a better place. So as Jim Jeffreys says, “we can all do better.” Let’s start that now.
Jill Thomas CCHT
Soul Connect Hypnotherapy