In addition to hypnotherapy I also do intuitive readings at the Awakenings Book Store in Laguna Hills California. I love doing it and I am always amazed at what I learn about human nature from my clients.
One day one of my intuitive readings clients came in to talk about anger issues. “I need to know how to stop being mad at my mom.” Part of me really wanted to say, “You need to come into my office for hypnotherapy, we can clear that right up,” but she wasn’t coming in for that. She wanted a reading.
So I say, “What did she do?” “Well, when I told her I wanted to do some fashion design work along with my social media business she launched into a long lecture about how I needed to get a more conventional job like my brother and it really made me mad and I lashed out.” “Is this the brother who is twenty-eight, still lives at home, and works at Costco?” (I’ve worked with her a while.) “Yes.” In my mind, I can’t help but wonder why that would be better than being a financially stable strong woman pursuing her dreams.
I could really feel there was a giant bomb she was leaving out of the story so I ask, “What did she say just before you lost it?” “She said that when she dies I could do whatever I want but for now I need to stop hurting her this way and get a regular job. She’s only fifty by the way. That made me so angry and I don’t know why.”
Now you don’t need to be psychic to catch that her mother was using what I would call advanced manipulation skills to try and get her daughter to do what she thought she should do. In her mother’s mind if her daughter didn’t have a stable job where she would meet a nice Catholic boy with lots of money who would take care of her and all the babies her mother wanted her to have then mom needed to worry and her mom did not want to do that. But what her mom didn’t realize or see was that her daughter needed to have her own life AND that by creating a successful business she would have plenty of her own money to support herself and any babies she might choose to have without needing someone else, Catholic or otherwise, to take care of her. You see, being from a different generation she did not have examples of women who did this to look at and say “if you would just be like …” then all would be well like it is for her. Instead, she had examples of women who married well and didn’t have to worry about money.
The thing is, Angela, my client, didn’t want that life nor is it as stable as her mom is thinking it is. But back to the anger. That is actually about how her mom is choosing to express herself. She is using the time-honored tool of manipulation and I have to give credit where credit is due, having her daughter think that she is dying when she isn’t is actually a new one. I’ve heard lots of manipulative phrases before but that one is special and deserves recognition.