As things start to return to some version of the word “normal,” there is a potential problem I think you should be aware of.
Separation Anxiety: The feeling of extreme anxiety as a result of a separation of any kind typically from a parent but also from anyone you got used to having around that is going off to work for the first time in a while.
It’s different from normal anxiety in that it often manifests as a feeling/fear that the person leaving is going to die and you will never see them again. Made worse because at some point when your 80-year-old grandma was getting on a plane to go back to Arkansas after a visit you thought “I am never going to see this person again” and you were right!
That experience can feel so real that I have had clients call up to ask me if this is prophetic or just fear. Ninety-nine times out of 100 it is just fear.
It can feel as though you personally are going to die when your partner or kids go off to rejoin the world after having been with you 24-7 for so long. Even if a part of you is really glad for quiet again, it can also feel scary.
Yes, I am feeling that, so what do I do?
This one is tough, and those emotions are very difficult to deal with, but you need to start by acknowledging that what you are feeling isn’t real, it’s simply emotion, your own fears getting away from you. No one is going to die; nothing is going to happen. It’s just natural human fears … nothing real.
Exercise, journaling, meditation, hikes in nature, trips to a coffee shop are all very good tools to help you get past this. For most people, it only lasts a few days but can be very rough during that time.
What should I not do?
-Blow up your boyfriend’s phone because he didn’t reply to your text within minutes of you sending it. No judgment, we have all done it, but that’s not who you want to be, and it will only hurt your relationship.
-Call your mom crying because you are sure everyone around you is going to die. Call her, yes; tell her what you are feeling but don’t call convinced this is real. It’s not, it’s just temporary emotions.
-Eat whip crème right from the can … you laugh but I know some of you have done it … I have.
I admit I know this problem well because I personally have suffered from it my whole life. It was always especially bad for me after a vacation or trip when I had spent 24-7 with people then suddenly found myself alone, so I know this can feel very uncomfortable. The key is to remember that it’s not real, it’s just emotions and everything really is ok.
Use your tools to get through this and know that you are loved.
Jill K Thomas CHT
Soul Connect Hypnotherapy
Author of the books “Tales from the Trance” & “Feed your Real Hunger”
Appointments available Globally by Video Chat