I had a client come in recently for a very common issue, “emotional spending,” and just like almost every other emotional spending client I see she was also overweight. Those two issues are really the same, and if you do it right, healing one usually helps heal the other as well.
This client was crying when she said, “I went to Target and before I knew it I had spent over $200, my usual amount and as I left I promised myself I would never do this again but I know it’s a lie. I will probably do it again tomorrow, maybe even today. I can’t seem to stop. I am so mad at myself right now.”
When you begin or end a discussion of a problem with “I am so mad at myself” or “I will never do that again,” you miss a chance to understand why you did it in the first place and understanding WHY is the key to healing anything whether it’s emotional eating, emotional spending, or just about any other bad habit.
What would happen if rather than yelling at your child for misbehaving you sat down and in a calm voice asked them why they punched their sister? They might say, “I donno,” which is probably what you will say to yourself the first time you ask but if you keep going and with love ask the question, “Why?” you might get the truth. And healing that truth is the key.
We are all children inside sometimes acting out in destructive ways.
People emotionally eat and spend for various reasons and as a hypnotherapist I help people figure out what those reasons are. The most common ones I see in session are:
-General boredom and need for stimulation;
-Unhappiness in a relationship, any relationship troubles can cause this;
-Problems with your job or business.
Basically, anything that can cause you stress can also cause you to try and run from that stress in an unhealthy way.
So, what do I do?
Spend time with yourself and from a place of love ask yourself why you did this? What’s really going on? The key is not to be angry but to really try and understand what is driving this behavior.
If you can’t figure it out on your own, seek help. Counseling, coaching, hypnotherapy (my favorite) all offer what people often need most, an experienced outsider to say, “you are loved, you matter” and sometimes “this is what I think it is …”; with hypnotherapy, they can guide you through a process so you can figure it out yourself.
Ah, the hard part comes. Sometimes it means making big changes like changing jobs or getting help for your relationship troubles. Other times it’s something little like going to find a new hobby that will bring you joy.
Get help if you need it. Everyone’s life matters and you deserve to be happy and I am 100% sure that new lipstick or candy bar won’t make any lasting impact on your life but healing your inner self can change your life forever after just one session.
If you need help with this, you can book a hypnotherapy session, virtual by phone and video chat via Zoom. Or check out my emotional eating book, Feed Your Real Hunger: Getting off the Emotional Treadmill That Keeps You Overweight. **You can download the first 50 pages for free by visiting****
Love yourself enough to do the work so you can heal your real troubles for good.
I’m here to help.
Jill K Thomas CHT
Soul Connect Hypnotherapy
Appointments available Globally by Video Chat