As a psychic reader my least favorite question to get is “Is he cheating?” mostly because when someone is asking that 9 times out of 10, they already know he is. But even when he isn’t, I know their relationship is in trouble and that’s a hard conversation to have.
But I am also a hypnotherapist, so I see this problem from a slightly different perspective. People who get cheated on a lot generally have underlying unconscious beliefs that could be drawing in that type of partner.
These clients often come from a family history of cheaters: parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, and others who were unfaithful to their partners. This behavior disrupts the social structure of the entire family and when a child witnesses this they can create a series of beliefs that become self-fulfilling prophecies.
Under hypnosis I was often able to find that these clients had created beliefs like the following:
-All men cheat.
-I don’t deserve to be treated with respect.
-I have to just accept cheating.
-All men cheat on me.
These negative beliefs become a giant magnet drawing to the women or men who have these beliefs people who will cheat and treat them with disrespect.
And even worse, when people who have these beliefs do get lucky and draw in a quality person who wouldn’t do that, they tend to drive them away with their “checking” behavior. Checking their phone, checking e-mail, asking where they have been when they come home late. Nobody likes being assumed to be a criminal when no crime has been committed. These behaviors kill the trust in an otherwise healthy relationship and drive that person away.
My clients tell me they know they are obsessing over nothing, but they can’t seem to stop.
So, what do we do?
Being aware is the first step but there needs to be more. Clearing out those deeply embedded unconscious beliefs involves getting into the unconscious mind with hypnotherapy and/or deep meditation. You can do this yourself with self-hypnosis. Go to my website for a free 8-step process. Seeing a hypnotherapist like myself virtually or in person can be a huge help.
Traditional therapy can help you heal the wounding from past hurts and help you establish healthy patterns in relationships.
Healing from this also involves increasing your self-love and self-esteem so that you can get beyond the idea you “deserve” this somehow or that you created it by something you did.
On my website there is a free meditation to help you grow your self-esteem so that no matter what happens you don’t have to manifest this over and over.
Know that this can be healed, and you can create a wonderful relationship with an ideal partner.
Love yourself to know you deserve the very best and that someone’s cheating is not your fault.
Jill K Thomas CHT
Soul Connect Hypnotherapy
Author of the books “Tales from the Trance” & “Feed your Real Hunger”
Appointments available Globally by Video Chat